Selective Storytelling and Social Media

Has anyone else noticed the recent surge of holiday snaps and statuses posted from exotic countries on their social media feeds? Surely I can't be the only one who has been experiencing this. Between the floods of selfies and the classic 'beach leg' photos, the "at ... airport" statuses and the videos of extreme sports, I'm left thinking that maybe my own life is a little bit boring. I suppose all of this shouldn't really come as a surprise, given that it's summer and all that, but at the same time I do question the overall effect that this is having on us, as social media users.

There's no denying that social media has changed the way our generation lead their lives, and I'm not going to condemn that fact. I think that we're extremely privileged to have access to such a powerful tool of communication and expression, and at this point, I can't imagine living my life without it. Nevertheless, there are downsides to social media, risks and flaws which, whilst we probably cannot avoid, we should definitely try to be aware of. For me, one of the most important things to bear in mind is this: social media is a selective storyteller.

When people post their albums on Facebook, they pick their BEST photos- the nicest views, the most fun adventures, the ones where everyone looks good, and happy, and smiling. They don't post the photos from the days it rained, or the day everyone was ill, or miserable. They don't post statuses saying how boring their day was, or how they sat in front of the TV all day and ate fast food (well, ok, I guess SOME people do that).

When people post selfies to Instagram, they don't post the first 3 or 4 failed attempts, where they look stupid or unhappy, or a little fat. They post that 5th attempt, where they looked tanned, and attractive and their smiles look good and their hair looks right.

We tell a selective story on social media- we highlight the best of our lives and we only publish what we want others to see. We don't generally share the times of pain, of sadness or of failure, because they might not be things that we're proud of, and we don't want them to define the way that other people view us. Yet absolutely everyone experiences defeat, unhappiness, awkwardness, shame and loneliness at some point in their lives- no one's life is perfect, even if their social media feeds seem to tell a different story.

I guess what I'm really trying to say here is that you shouldn't judge your own life against what you see of others on the internet. Social media is a lens, and through it we see only a glimpse of other people's lives, a glimpse which tends to highlight the best of somebody, and which ignores a large proportion of the rest of their life. I know from personal experience that browsing through social media can at times make you feel insignificant, boring or maybe even depressed, but these are neither rational nor necessary emotions. Make sure you don't let the limited content you see on social media define the way that you view other people, but perhaps more importantly, make sure don't let it define how you view yourself.

Reality vs. What I chose to post on Instagram:
Bad photos exist too, they just get deleted or are never published to social media...

PS. This was partly inspired by this photo which my friend Arabella posted on Instagram a week ago. Coincidentally you should also DEFINITELY check out her blog which is super interesting and inspiring. Link here.

#100happydays

"Happiness is a state of mind, a choice, a way of living; it is not something to be achieved, it is something to be experienced." (Steve Maraboli) 

I think we often sacrifice our immediate happiness in favour of a long-term goal and, while this can lead to success, it's an unhealthy way of life. As Maraboli said there is no way of measuring happiness, you can simply feel it. However this isn't always easy.

I recently discovered an online project called "#100happydays" and was immediately intrigued. The concept is simple: everyday, for one hundred days, you upload a picture of what makes you happy. Depending on how much you value your privacy you can choose to use Facebook, Twitter or Instagram with the hashtag #100happydays. Alternatively you can come up with your own hashtag or even email the photos directly to the website. The intention of the project is to make you value the moment and become more happy with yourself. According to the website, people who have successfully completed the 100 days "become more optimistic" and "fall in love during the challenge". We will see.

Inspirational messages for a Tuesday...

All this thinking about happiness made me realise that photos each day might not be everyone's cup of tea. Particularly for people who've recently left home, January is a difficult month. After the warmth (both figurative and literal in my case, my flat is freezing) of home during Christmas, the shock of being back on your own is noticeable. I've got a few things in my room which make me feel more comfortable. For example, Helena gave me a calendar with an inspirational quote for each day of the year. Whilst it's very tempting to cheat and read all the quotes now, I appreciate discovering a new message each day.

Ten things to do when the odds are stacked against you.

Another help, currently on the fridge, is a small piece of paper my old school gave me detailing Chris Evans' advice for when the odds are stacked against you. I find the fifth piece of advice most useful, "Get away - to anywhere, be it the other side of the world or the woods round the corner." There aren't many woods in central Paris however there are lots of green spaces to discover. In October I went to the Chateau de Vincennes (to the east of Paris) with a friend. It was pouring with rain as we walked along a country trail and was extremely refreshing. Something I find difficult in living here is the lack of greenery, so discovering that place was very important. 

Now back to me (Miranda reference for those of you unaware). When I was in sixth form I did a photo-a-day project and found the experience strangely therapeutic, if traumatic to look over now. That totalled 623 pictures of dubious quality (e.g. Starbucks, food, selfies) so 100 days should be relatively easy. If you're interested, I'm posting the pictures on my Instagram with the hashtag "100happydays".

What do you do to be happy?